I'll admit it - I'm a bit obsessive. OK, maybe sometimes alot obsessive. I've never considered myself much of an athlete, though I've always been pretty active and considered myself a runner since the age of 12. Running is my outlet. I find running to be the ultimate dose of Xanax. When I run, I am free - Nothing can hurt me, and no matter what, when I stop I usually feel better. It doesn't matter that I am uncoordinated, can't throw for shit or follow simple steps in an aerobics class. Yes, occasionally this lack of coordination causes me to trip over a root or sidewalk and bloody my knee, but no big deal. Running is a part of me, my religion if you will.

A few years back (oh, wow - actually 8 now that I think about it!!) I decided it would be a good idea to run a marathon - for most average people, this is not a good idea. Running, especially on roads and for great distances is just not good on your joints, especially your knees, and especially for women who have average sized hips. And yes, I consider myself an average person so this was probably not my best decision ever. I won't get into the anatomy of it all, but after my marathon, my left knee was not the same. For awhile (6 years to be exact), I periodically suffered crap runs - My knee would often pop out and throb and pulsate for no reason (other than the marathon I had completed 6 years prior). I had lost my sanity. I decided to do something about this.

Picture this - 2 years back - I had a good job and good insurance. I decided to "fix" my knee. With the help of an excellent orthopedic, and one short and sweet surgery, my knee became the "bionic knee." I was overjoyed when only 8 weeks later, I was able to run again. This man, full of wisdom, told me that if I continued to run and log the kind of mileage I typically enjoyed, I could expect similar problems in the future.... EEEK!

A triathlete was born.

Growing up in a separated home has made me a child of compromise. Thus I compromised with myself - Still continue to run, just not as many days - supplement running with another activity and continue to be a bit OCD. Ok, maybe a triathlon wasn't a natural choice simply because I wasn't a strong swimmer or cyclist (hell I didn't even own a road bike at the time), but those of you who know me also know that I LOVE a good challenge.

Now move along to 2005 - New demons in my life to deal with - I bought my first road bike and put the peddle to the metal up the hills in Marin. Who wouldn't love training if training involved riding over the Golden Gate bridge every weekend? This combined with running continued to be my daily dose of Xanax I so desperately needed. I next threw in the swimming. I'll be honest - it was ugly. But Wildflower 05 came and went and I survived and came out as an addict. The year passed with Donner Lake in the summer and another Wildflower in 06. I did more swim training and became much more proficient in the water. My 06 race was better than 05....



This brings me to present day. I'm in San Diego now. To be honest, I've never felt so alone in my entire life. Each day is a new rollercoaster of emotions - up and down, up and down. Excitement followed by disappointment. Opportunity followed by tragedy. And I need more. I'm not satisfied. For this reason, I have decided to once again challenge myself - to accomplish something I once considered impossible. So one day at work, I signed up for the Half Ironman - Even though it is a "Half", I consider it a lofty goal. If I can do this, than I can do anything.
Check it out: http://www.ironmancalifornia.com/info.php

Now that I have spelled out my goal on paper for all to read, it becomes more real. This is my life. I will not spend the next 6 months at home on my couch crying because I don't know anyone in SD. I will be out on the road, on the trails and in the ocean training my heart out. I will pound out everything negative that has happened and that which will continue to happen, because I am strong enough that I will never let it get me. Run away? No. I will run over all of this negativity. And on March 31, 2007 I will reach my goal. I carry with me a piece of everyone that I have come across, good and bad. You will all be there with me every step of the way.

I am starting this new silly little blog, mostly for myself - to put it all down on paper. If you're so obliged you can read about all of this training - good days and bad - and see how it all pans out. I already know how it ends....